Starting Over

First, Happy New Year. This is coming a bit late as we are already 10 days into the year but I wanted some time to process the fact that it's a new year and that I am a year older. A Chinese proverb says ; the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Sometimes, that step is making a firm decision to embark on that journey. Since it's a new year, It feels like I now have a clean slate and have hereby, set myself on a journey to start all over. They say, in order to create a more beautiful you and make room for growth, you must shed old skin. As easy as it is in theory, I'm aware letting go of the old takes a lot of willpower and it is extremely hard to do because letting go of the old means I would be letting go of what feels familiar to me and mostly, this might mean stepping out of my comfort zone. The comfort zone is like a safe haven ; a cocoon I have created for myself that I must shed if I want to do better, be better. The realization that if I want better for myself, I must start over and if I will start over, I must step out of my comfort zone makes the transition process less scary.

Also, I am not alone. I will always be surrounded by love from my inner self and all the beautiful people inside me that their names are unknown so I will not fear neither will I doubt. I know that wherever my journey leads me, I will find peace and I will not be alone.

Dear Self,

Sometimes, starting over is scary. It's hard to explain the reason a change is occurring to other people. It feels like if you fail this time, there's nothing you can do again but guess what? You can make a decision to start over for as many times as you want. Do not be too hard on yourself. Do not compare your journey to that of others around you. Everyone has an assigned time and no one should convince you that your time has passed already. Take comfort in being intentional about your goals and be sure to not keep doing the same things to achieve a different result; If you continue to pour water in a leaking bucket in the hopes that you will save some, you will always fail until you realize that what you need is a perfectly fine bucket. So, that voice in your head that tells you, you can't do it? You talk to it. You have control over everything that breathes inside of you.

"You'll never be enough"

"You can never do it"

There's an arabic word I have fallen in love with and I speak it out loud whenever I start to feel these ugly self deprecating thoughts rear their head. It's 'Khalas' and it means 'Stop/Enough'. I tell the voice in my head; Khalas. As long as I remember to take responsibility and be consistent, I've got my journey covered.